Daily Postings

How many of us could go off by ourselves for forty days into a barren wilderness, just to be alone with God to meditate and pray, and not take any food with us?   That takes discipline and a strong will.  Jesus did that at the beginning of his ministry.  It is written in the scriptures that some of the prophets did the same thing.  I think very few people would ever have the strength and the endurance to survive such an ordeal.  Jesus teaches us numerous messages by living out those forty days.  How much intensive preparation do couples put themselves through when preparing for the most momentous decision of their life, getting married?  It is looked upon by many as unreasonable to insist they even attend a program to prepare them for marriage.  Maybe that’s one reason why so many fail; lack of preparation and serious consideration, and not taking time to know the person they are marrying.

It is easy to see how methodical Jesus was in preparing for his work.  He planned every important move with great patience, and with prayer.  He picked his apostles one at a time, carefully.  He looked beyond what others could see in a person, and chose that person because of what he saw beneath the surface of his life, and his ability to stay faithful through difficult times.  They did not have to be brilliant, but they did have to be loyal and faithful in their constancy as a follower.  Judas was a special case.  Jesus had to know how that choice would turn out, but still chose him.  That is something which we will never be able to understand, or even fathom. 

One trait that already stands out in Jesus’ life is his casual, confident bearing.  He is not afraid of life.  He is already surround by an aura of peace and serenity.  This is something each of us could greatly benefit from, as so many of us a troubled by worry and anxiety.  And we can see the source of Jesus’ peace, his intimacy with God, and the realization that what we are doing is good.  I will never forget a comment my father once made to a priest who asked him if he ever worried, or panicked over having to support a big family in the middle of the Great Depression.  I remember my father’s respond.  “No, I never worry.  I know I’m doing what God wants me to do, and there is not reason to worry.  That’s God’s job.”  What Jesus taught by his own example and what my Father learned early in his married life is that God is a Partner, and we find peace in sharing and planning with Him.

“Well, Peter, do you ever lose any sleep when you have problems?”

“I have never lost a night’s sleep. As soon as I lie down I fall asleep immediately, and don’t wake up until it’s time to get up and start the fires in the stoves so it’s warm for everybody when they get up.”

That is one of the reasons why I have such a difficult time understanding why so many people have to go to the Far East to find a way to find peace, when it is so simple and one of the most  basic blessings that Jesus shared with us. 

Yesterday we saw how Jesus, by his choosing to be born to poor and of humble parents, taught all of us a most important value, the virtue of simplicity, and the importance of not attaching great value to the material things of this world. Most people are unable to see much value in the poor or any dignity in the trappings of poverty.  So, now at his birth we see not only dignity, but divinity clothed in a human infant lying in a feeding box for animals, while his poor parents what him sleep.  He also taught us that we may have to rejection and opposition, and that as an infant he was already a refugee.  In these two lessons he teaches us that most of us on this earth can identify with his experiences even in his infancy.  He was already one of us.

But, that is just the beginning of his life, and he is already teaching us important lessons about life, and attitudes for healthy living.  There were other things that we important is Jesus’ early life, but we have to look ahead to later on which will reflect what he was taught at home, and where he learned so much about life.  We see him as a young boy twelve years old surprising the temple experts with his remarkable knowledge of the Law and the Scriptures.  That is a strong indication that his parents has instilled in him a extraordinary understanding of their faith, and their religious beliefs, an understanding he could not have received from the traveling scribes who passed through their village occasionally to teach in their synagogue, and maybe hold occasional classes.  How many parents today teach their children in any depth about what they themselves believe.  Most parents pass that critical responsibility off to strangers, with the unfortunate results that few young people know very little about the most important issue of their life, their relationship and responsibilities to God.  So we see grown Christians trying to find a meaning to their lives, when that problem could have been resolved for them as children if they were set on the right road.

When Jesus began his public life he begins to teach us many things without even saying a word.  He met John the Baptizer at the Jordan River and asks John to baptize him.  Even John is shocked because he knows Jesus does not need baptism.  But in doing this, Jesus is showing us the humility we should have in our relationship with God.  Most people talk themselves out of sin, and justify so much evil in their lives.  Jesus who is sinless, enters the water, not in his own name, but in our name, and takes upon himself the sinfulness and guilt of all of us, and offers himself to his heavenly Father as the atonement sacrifice in our name, and for our sins.  He who was guiltless takes upon himself the guilt of us all.  Every now and then we come across a rare person who can offer him or herself, to pay the debt of someone else.   How many saintly persons in the concentration camps offered to take the place of someone else who was about to be executed?  What a lesson in heroism Jesus teaches all of us, and which he later put into words, “Greater love than this no one has, than to lay down their life for another.”

Yes, Jesus teaches us many lessons, not just lessons in ordinary lives, but lessons in heroism and lessons of the highest ideals.

The messages Jesus delivered by his example.  He was born totally vulnerable, and to poor parents, when  he could have been born in the palace of a king.  That he was born of poor parents was by his own choice.  It was his decision to come into the world this way, poor, vulnerable, unwanted, and in a short time having to be carried off as a     refugee to a foreign country to avoid being killed by a demented king.  How many people are unwanted and treated as useless and a burden on society.  Only Jesus can comfort such people and give them a sense of dignity, knowing that God’s Son suffered the same fate.

The mind of Jesus was far beyond what we could ever comprehend.  His mother and foster father were his creatures. It was clear that he never made them feel inadequate.  When he was beginning to feel important as a young teenager, and was confirmed as an adult in his religion, he humbly went back to Nazareth with his parents and lived a model life of obedience and dedication to his responsibilities as a son whose parents needed his help, especially caring for a sick father, and then supporting his widowed mother.

It seems that as he was growing up, he chose to live just like any other boy in his village, yet he was the God who created them.  Never did he allow himself to appear better than anyone else.  Such humility was so profound that it even hid the fact that he was the all holy and omnipotent God, so when he began to talk about God, his Father in heaven, and to heal sick people, the local townsfolk were shocked, “Where did he get all this stuff from?  Isn’t this the carpenter’s son, the kid we grew up with.”  And they found it too much to cope with, and turned against him. 

Since his birth, Jesus’ most outstanding trait was him stunning humility, which hid all his divine genius and holiness under that humble veil, and prompted him to live just like everyone else.  This is so unlike most of us, who want to stand out and be recognized for whatever abilities or talents we may have, and so often belittle others as beneath us.

It dawned on me while I was praying yesterday that we have missed most of Jesus’ teachings by concentrating on his words.  I began to realize that most of his messages are in his actions and reactions to things and people, people of all different kinds, and also in his reactions to animals and everything in nature and in the universe.  It was a startling revelation, and for the next few days I am going to try to share some of the insights that have recently struck me as being important and relevant particularly to ourselves.  This new awareness made me realize that what Jesus teaches through his actions and reactions, he hinted at when he said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Light, follow me.”  When God teaches us the way, why do people have to travel all the way around the world to find a human being whom they think will provide them with what they are looking for.

Just one little insight for today.  Jesus is sitting by the shore of the Sea of Galilee, just looking out across the quiet water, watching the fishermen in their boats coming in after being out all night. He notices that some of them had a great catch, and some worked all night and caught nothing.  He sees their joy and their sadness.  His glance changes as he watches the sea gulls coasting across the water, some of them diving down to make a catch.  The morning air is quiet and fresh. It feels so good after a hot sweaty night.  Looking off to the side, he sees a few women coming down to the shore and looking over the boats to see what kind of fish they pulled in.  They are shrewd at business these women. Jesus watches with a smile, knowing that the men are no match for their persistent ways of wearing them down until the tired men finally give in to their grinding pressure. Jesus is off, and out of the way, where he can just enjoy the peacefulness of everything around him, and enjoy the early morning show.  This is how Jesus learned like all of us, just by watching and observing.  Some people today would call that meditating.  Jesus spent hours each day meditating.  His meditating was productive, not centered on himself but in observing nature, and people and flocks of birds flying across the still waters, and animals of all kinds drinking at the end of the lake, and people milling around hoping to find a fisherman with a haul of fresh fish.  Jesus could easily find oneness with this world of nature he had created, and a peace knowing that it was all serving the purpose for which he had originally planned billions of years ago.

My happiest Thanksgiving was in Pottsville, Pennsylvania many years ago.  The three other monks went home to visit their families, and I was holding the fort.  In the middle of the afternoon, I had to go somewhere and driving through a village on my way home, I spotted a little boy about nine or ten years old, peeking into people’s dining rooms.  I parked my car and slowly walk back to the house where the boy was, and gently called him.  He turned around, saw my Roman collar and said, “Oh, hi, Father.”

“Are the people having a good time eating their dinner?”

A little embarrassed, he said, “Yes, they seem very happy.”

“Is your family going to have Thanksgiving dinner?”

“I don’t have a family.  I’m an orphan.”

“Where do you live?”

“At the orphanage.  I sneaked out so I could see how people celebrate Thanksgiving.”

“I don’t have a family nearby either, and I’m going to have my turkey dinner in a little while.  Would you like to celebrate Thanksgiving with me?”

“I’d like that.  Can I?”

“Yes, well get in the car and we’ll go home and celebrate Thanksgiving together and you can tell the Sisters, and all your friends that you celebrated Thanksgiving with me.”

“That will be great.”

So, we drove back to the monastery.  I called the nuns at the orphanage and told them not to worry about the boy, that we were going to have Thanksgiving dinner together, and that I’d drive him back when we finished dinner.  She was relieved.  The nuns there all knew me, so they felt relieved.

The cook had prepared a turkey dinner the day before and put it in the refrigerator, so all I had to do was heat it up, and serve it.  We ate at the nice dining room table.  There were flowers on the table and the room was nicely decorated. The boy was all eyes.  Before supper we went into the chapel to pray and thank God for everything, and we then had our Thanksgiving dinner.  He kept smiling all through the dinner, and must have said ‘thank you’ at least ten times.  And each time I thanked him, too.

When we finished dinner, it was already close to five thirty and beginning to get dark, so we drove back to the orphanage, and I walked him up to the door and waited for the sister to come and bring him inside.  The boy turned around and ran over to me, and gave me a big hug and thanked me again.  The nun smiled, and thanked me.  We both had tears in our eyes.  I don’t think I will ever forget that Thanksgiving.

As time passes, I find myself becoming stranger and stranger to people and to some family.  My oldest and closest friends ask me, with not a little disappointment, “Why do you have to be so damned liberal,” or “Face it, you’re just a radical liberal like the rest of them.”  When they tell me these things, I really have a hard time understanding what they mean, because as one old Benedictine monk once said to me, “People say you’re liberal, but it’s only because they really don’t understand their theology.  You teach the same things we were all taught years ago, except you have a way of expressing it that makes sense.”

But, I still keep analyzing why I have become strange to those who were always close to me, because my positions on issues are not based on political considerations. First of all, I am not, as many believe, a Democrat, nor am I a Republican. I base my attitude towards issues on what I should think as an intelligent and thoughtful follower of Jesus.  I know my thinking has changed over the years, and I am beginning to understand what has happened.  For the past thirty years, living alone for the most part, as I spend hours each day studying and writing about Joshua, and Jesus and trying to pry into the mind of Jesus, it is like living with him.  Now, more than ever, I live almost like a hermit most of the time, going for hours each day rarely seeing anyone.  I am faced with seeing Jesus all day long, and into the night, not that I am holy, but how could it be any different, when my whole life has been immersed in Him. And like living with a person, you become sensitive to the way that person thinks and feels and views everything.  And when it happens to be Jesus, it does a job on you, because you end up continually comparing your attitudes and thinking to his, and seeing yourself as always falling short of his ideals.  So, rather out of shame, than from real holiness, your ideals begin to change, as you find yourself thinking and feeling more and more the way he does so you can feel less uncomfortable with yourself. 

As a result of that I can no longer nicely slide into the dark recesses of my subconscious the needs of the poor and those in our society who bother us all, even criminals, and the state of their souls, and how can God’s grace reach them.  Letters from criminals in prisons make me even more aware of their simple, yet painful attempts to want to be different and don’t know how, because it is all so new to them.  I learned to see how damaged they have been since infancy.

Then when I pray for our troops suffering so much in a difficult war where the enemy is invisible, and they can be maimed for life, and their families permanently damaged emotionally and psychologically, and while I am praying, I hear a soundless voice from somewhere, saying, “What about my other children who are being damaged and destroyed?” Then I feel guilty, because suddenly I am thinking like an American, and not like Jesus, and again I have another conscience problem, as I realize that to God, all these people in the war are His children, all of whom are dear to him, not just Americans.  Then I ask, “Why Jesus, should I pray for them?” and the answer comes quickly, “Because they are my children crying out for justice over the way their people have been treated by cruel rulers who are friends of yours.  So, learn to pray the way I pray to my Father for all his children in these cruel and senseless wars where all my children are killing and destroying the lives and families of one another.  You are all my family and you must all learn to care for one another. I did not create you as enemies. You make enemies of one another.  You must find ways to reach out to one another, to understand what it is that each other craves, not kill each other.”

Then I begin to see the world as a family, not because I want to, but because I am ashamed.  Then love of just one country takes on a different meaning.  Faced with Jesus all day long is not easy, I am shamed into loving as he loves, and he loves all peoples with unconditioned and infinite love, so just loving just one people is no longer acceptable.  I must learn to love all peoples the way Jesus does, and that is not easy, but the alternative is no longer an option.  But, then I have a problem with my patriotism, because I have since my infancy loved my country.  There is nothing wrong with that, just like we love our own family.  But, I must then learn to love and respect other peoples and never look upon them as enemies, but as others of God’s children, who have needs they are struggling for, and that we should not make enemies of them but reach out to them until we find what it is they crave: acceptance, freedom from hopelessness, recognition, friendship, a humble attitude on our part, a partnership with us, help to raise their dignity and the dignity of their people in the eyes of the world? It is in reaching out for understanding of others that will resolve issues, not in wars, which solve no problems, but sow seeds of hatred which will reap other wars later on.

And then I begin to understand what has happened to me. I am no longer free, which means liberal, to think as I like.  I have been constrained and become conservative in all the things that God has been trying to teach us all for centuries, but which I have learned only lately.  In spite of the fact that my friends and family call me liberal, I have really become conservative.  Those who have broken free from all those things that Jesus died to teach us have become the liberals, free from looking upon the poor as a treasure God has given to us to earn out salvation, free to harbor angry feelings about people fleeing starvation by flooding our heaven on earth, and putting demands on our hard-earned wealth, free to despise and consider as enemies of the people, any leaders who dare to reach out to generate peace among hostile peoples, free to look upon others of God’s children as enemies, and delight in destroying them, free to seek revenge, and demand severe retribution for sinners, free to take from the Creator his right over human life, whether at the beginning of life or by demanding execution of his sinful children, and denying Him the chance to continue the work of redeeming those souls.  It is God who said, “It is not the death of a sinner I desire, but that he be converted and live.”  

And I finally realize that rather than being a liberal, I have become a highly constrained conservative, no longer free to wander so freely away from what God demands of us all, or free to live and give vent to all those feelings and impulses that are so crudely human, and which retard the evolution of humanity into a more godly way of living, and from being the yeast in the dough of  our civilization so we can, as Jesus dreamed, cause our whole society to rise to a higher level.

I just heard the most touching story.  I have told you in the past about my priest friend, Father Martin, who had been a Navy commander, a chaplain, and now pastor of the parish in Burke, Virginia.  He and his parishioners have an ongoing program to better the lives of the poor in Haiti.  This past week, he and ten of his parishioners, just ordinary people, some very well-to-do and important people in Washington and in their local communities, went with their pastor to work among the Haitian poor, building homes and other buildings.

One day they visited a prison, a horrible stinking place with no sanitation, with sixteen inmates in a cell, and where most of the inmates were there for stealing food, some for stealing a loaf of bread, others for stealing a piece of meat, some for stealing a chicken, others for stealing fruit.  A local priest, who went with Father Martin, used his influence to get a group of the men released.  After their release, Father Martin and his parishioners, washed the feet of the ten or twelve young men, and gave each of them new shoes to wear and some money so they could start over without having to steal food again as soon as they left the prison.

This parish in Burke is remarkable for their caring of the poor and those in need, not just in Haiti, but in their own neighborhood, where there are always people who are hurting and in need of help.  Yes, there are many good people who are aware of those who are hurting and reach out to help them.  And it touches the hearts of us all when we come across them.

A young contractor recently bought a house for an extremely reasonable price.  The place needed a few repairs, otherwise it was in very good condition.  One bitterly cold day, he saw a homeless man wandering the streets, and over a period of time got to know him and asked why he was homeless.  He gave reasons which didn’t make too much sense, but it turned out the man was an artist, a very good artist, and just had a need to be alone. When asked what he did on really cold days, he said he just collected cardboard and made a shelter and slept in his sleeping bag in the shelter.  A few days later, he showed the man the house he had just bought and told him he could sleep there nights while he was fixing up the place.  At first, the man seemed reluctant, but after a couple of days, he moved in his few art supplies and his sleeping bag and now sleeps there on cold nights, where he can at least be warm.    

I am fast being convinced that Christians really don’t want the real Jesus.  I am still shocked that there are no seminaries Catholic or Protestants, other than the Jesuits, that teach a real  intensive life of Jesus, other than the sketchy history of the development of doctrines about Jesus.  Are we afraid of Jesus? Or are we content with just a superficial knowlege of him?

After spending all my retirement years writing books about Jesus, in an attempt to present to the world a Jesus faithful to the gospel image, and a Jesus who would make sense to a world hungering for him, I am lately getting the feeling, and I can see that Jesus had that feeling towards the end of his ministry, that I have failed. I have to admit, I am deeply saddened and discouraged as my life and my ministry as a priest is fast diminishing.  People loved the image I painted of Jesus, and I have received tens of thousands of letters telling me that, but most of the letters were that my books gave them comfort and made them feel good about themselves, but the numbers were few who told me that they really took the whole Jesus to their hearts and were willing to take up their crosses in following him along the difficult road of helping people hurting and needy, and suffering and lonely, and troubled along the way, those numbers I think are few.

I watch the news, and read my emails, it saddens me deeply to see all the hatred and lies and sick propaganda from people who boast of their high moral Christian standards.   I think Jesus would get sick to his stomach, witnessing their unending destruction of others’ characters, their denial that there are any genuine poor, their naked hatred of people who are different, the sick attitude they have towards immigrants who are coming here out of desperation because they are starving.  Yet this is a phenomenon no different from the attitudes of Americans two hundred years ago, who couldn’t stand the German immigrants, and then the Irish, and then the Polish and the Italian immigrants. It seems that when people are poor they need God, and they help one another, and Jesus makes sense to them, but when they rise out of poverty and have wealth, and a higher social status, God doesn’t mean as much to them, and they forget their families’ past and they become obnoxious, acting with meanness and intolerance towards other desperate people coming to our country, not for a handout, but to work, and one thing everyone admits, they work hard.

And though my emails are filled with Christian patriotic slogans and political propaganda, they ring hollow, because there is underneath it all, a most unchristian intolerance that is so opposite of the mind and heart of Jesus.  We boast of a Christian nation but show such venom against the poor and the desperate, it is a very denial of everything that was sacred to Jesus. 

It is an amazing phenomenon to see people from states where just a few years ago they hung and imprisoned Negroes, and tarred and feathered Catholic priests, for almost any arbitrary reason, and now these same states are so surprisingly so self-righteous in opposing abortion.  I cannot but help but wonder if it is not just a convenient political strategy to put Catholic politicians in a no-win situation which some thoughtless bishops fall for.

And I still wonder that there are still no seminaries, either Catholic or Protestant, except for the Jesuits, that have no intensive studies of Jesus’ life and attitudes, other than the course on the development of the doctrines about the God-Man.  Maybe knowing Jesus is not important to them, or maybe deep down Jesus is am embarrassment to the legalistic way we treat people which he opposed so strongly. 

And when it comes to immigrants, where did Jesus ever say that national borders are an acceptable limit to our obligation to care for the desperate and the starving, and that anyone who crosses that border we can deny them care and help, and can call them criminals and jail them as such, and refuse them needed medical care when they are in serious need?  When a people have lost their heart they no longer have the right to call themselves Christian.

What does it mean to be holy?  Many people think that to be holy, you have to pray frequently, be very active in religious affairs, involved in your church, and making sure you observe all the customs and practices of your religion.  While that may be nice for some people, it misses the target of genuine holiness. Holiness is just being your genuine, good self; a person who is caring and respectful of others, a person who is courageous and willing to take on difficult but necessary tasks, a person who uses his or her intelligence for good, and never to hurt or demean others, a person who is always willing to reach out and help others who need help; a person who is strong and yet sensitive emotionally, a person who has a wonderful sense of humor, a happy person. In short, a person with a perfectly balanced personality, and fun to be with; a person in love with everything alive, from God, and every special gift he has given to us, down to the simplest little creature, and everything He has created.  A holy person is a beautiful person.  That’s all that holiness is. In the process of becoming like that, a holy person will try to live a good moral life, even though he or she may fall all along the way, but never stops getting up and struggling on.  That’s all that God expects of any of us.  So, don’t ever get discouraged.  God loves us as He created us, and understands the weaknesses built into our personalities. As long as we reach out to others, our own sins, “as many as they may be, are forgiven.”  Those are not my words.  They are the words of Jesus concerning the sinful woman in Simon the Pharisee’s house.