Daily Postings

 Lately some dear friends died, and a few others seem to be at death’s door.  I have had so many experiences of friends dying, I think a part of me dies with them.  Some die peacefully, some struggle not to die.  They struggle for various reasons, some because they are concerned about the grief their children will suffer, and that their children may still need them, so they try desperately to hang on. But, there are so many who panic at the thought of dying. I suppose for them it is like a judge handing down the death sentence. One old Italian man whose wife died the previous year, was extremely lonely after her death.  He was a kind old fellow.  Everyone in the neighborhood loved him.  In his grief his consolation was his homemade wine, which he liked to share with me.  And his was good wine.

On Sunday mornings he would walk up to the rectory and sit on the back steps before the 8:00 o’clock Mass, and wait for me to accompany him to church.  One Sunday I said to him, “You still miss your wife a lot, don’t you, Tony?”  

“She was a wonderful woman, Patre.”

“I bet you would like to go and be with her, wouldn’t you?”

“Eh, Patre, no talka like that.”

“Why not, Tony?”

“Because I know what I gotta here, but I don’t know what I’ma gonna get over there.”

And that is a painful problem for so many good people.  They may have been good all their lives, but are afraid of God, afraid they might not be good enough to past the test. And that’s sad, because Jesus spent his whole life trying to help us feel comfortable with His Father.  The story of the woman in the Pharisee’s house is a dramatic example of Jesus’ view of this public sinner whom the religious leaders despised.  Although Jesus had been invited, he was snubbed by the host and refused the ordinary marks of courtesy on arriving.  But, the woman, when she saw that Jesus was there, ran home and got a jar of perfumed ointment and went to the Pharisee’s house.  She then boldly walked in and went over behind were Jesus was reclining and began to wash his feet with her tears, dry them with her hair, and anoint them with perfumed ointment.  The Pharisee noticed this show of intimacy and wondered how Jesus knew her so well.  Jesus raises the issue and tells a story about a rich man who had two debtors, one who owes him a million dollars and the other who owes him five hundred.  Neither could pay him back so he forgives them both.  Then he asks the Pharisee which one would love him the more, and he answers, “The one he forgave the more.”  And Jesus said, “This woman’s sins are forgiven because she has loved much, as if to say, this woman reaches out to care for those in need around her, like widows and orphans, unbeknown to anyone, and because of her love the bond of love between herself and God is not broken. She is still in God’s friendship.”

That is the way God looks at us.  He doesn’t just look at our sins and our mistakes. He looks at our whole life.  Were Jesus and Peter still friends after Peter denied he ever knew Jesus?  Off course they were. Jesus knew Peter loved him, but he also knew he was a coward, so what, they still loved each other and they were still friends, and  Jesus eventually cornered Peter and got him to profess his love for him, … three times, and then put him in charge of the whole Church.  God knows our weaknesses, and our struggles, and our failures, but as long we have not given up trying to  be good, and as long as we are sensitive to the pain and loneliness of others, our own sins as many as they may be are forgiven because we love much.  So, as long as we have cared for others and tried to make like easier for them, Jesus promises to overlook our own sins, and to welcome us home when the time comes.  That is a very comforting teaching of Jesus which can bring us a lot of comfort when we worry about not being worthy of God’s forgiveness.

When we wake up each morning, we wonder what that day will be like?   I am gradually beginning to learn that that depends on what we want it to be like.  If I wake up with the mentality of a victim, and worry about what’s going to happen to me, then I allow myself to become the victim of the negative things I anticipate.  And everyday there are negative things that can threaten, especially today.  But, if I wake up like a dreamer who sees potential for all kinds of happy possibilities, then I immediately begin to ask myself which one will I start on, and my enthusiasm drives out the fearful hangovers from yesterday, and I a begin my day with a happy spirit. 

When it comes to bills, which is a constant worry for everyone, we have to realize that everyone, even the biggest corporations are maxxed out with debt worries.  I found that a healthy attitude is to realize I am in the same situation as everyone else, even the ones I owe money to, so, just as they cover their debts gradually, so they will understand if I cover my debts the same way, and pay them so much a month.  As long as I am paying them something, they know I am not going to ‘stiff’ them, and they accept what I do.  It is only when we ignore them that they get nervous.

I have also found that when we are in really bad straits, if we are honest with a creditor, and share with them that it is becoming very difficult, if not impossible to keep up our schedule, they will ordinarily make an offer, and reduce your interest or cut down the amount you owe, to a level that is workable for you.  They would rather do that than lose the whole amount you owe them.

When it comes to God, he is not as rigid as many people paint him to be.  As Jesus shows so often in the gospels, he has the uncanny ability to accept everyone just where we are at.  If a person can honestly do only so much, Jesus never demands more, until he gives us the grace.  Humans may have a difficult time being like that, but God knows how he made us, and understands when we fall far short of his ideals, like his understanding of the predicament of the Samaritan woman at the well.  In spite of her shortcomings, he saw her potential for goodness, and picked her as his messenger to announce the good news to that Samaritan village.

Just remember He loves you and understands your weaknesses and is always with you.

A dear friend was sentenced to prison recently, for a crime that did not in any way affect any other human being.  It may sound strange but he was and is a good man, and has helped thousands of people over the years, in his work and in his personal life.  Lately, he has been suffering from multiple physical and psychological problems, which causes bouts of serious mental confusion and inability to make proper judgments. He also suffers from Alzheimer’s. While the psychiatrists recommended that the judge seriously consider this in his disposition of the case, the judge made the remark that he did care whether he was sick; that was irrelevant. I suppose the judge considers himself a kind of patriot.

What I was concerned about is my friend’s attitude.  He had told me, that if he is sentenced, “it must be because there is someone there God wants me to help, so I will go and reach out to whoever needs help.  When my work is done, God will bring me home.”

What a beautiful way for us to look at difficult reversals in our life.  But, it takes faith that God uses each of us as instruments to touch other people’s lives

I was talking to a dear friend today who was very discouraged because of severe physical and bipolar problems.  She is a sweet, precious person, with great talent, who struggles hard with her infirmities.  Her discouragement was intensified by the doctor giving her medicine that caused damage to her aortic valve. She has a beautiful family and a hard working husband who is also discouraged by our troubled economy.

This very special person has struggled with other issues in the past and survived them, but sometimes it is easy to wonder if the burdens can’t be too overwhelming.  What can a friend say to comfort or inspire in such situations, without saying something inane or vapid, empty of anything meaningful or helpful?

I just think back and look over situations in my own life when I was in such frightful situations, so desperate I wanted to give up. It happens to us all at some time or other. One time I was so close to death the doctors didn’t think they could bring me back from the brink.  But, ten years later I am still here, still not over all the weakness that illness brought on, but at least able to write and hopefully make a difference.  For months after that illness I had to crawl up the stairs to get things I needed during the day.  That was my daily exercise. It was like going up a ten story building each day (the number of times I went up and down the stairs). I was so happy people didn’t see me.  It was so humbling.

Those difficult times and other more painful, but not life-threatening experiences, made me realize we don’t need much to accomplish what God wants us to accomplish.   And I am not thinking of material things, just ordinary physical strength something for him that will be of help to others who are also struggling to survive. and mental stamina to accomplish something worthwhile for our families or for those whom God intends us to help by our ministry.

So, when we seem to be in such dire straits that even our existence seems to hanging on a thread, I have learned that that is when God is at his best.  He has not left us.  He is trying to help us to become strong, even stronger than was necessary in previous situations.  When we gain that strength he will gently without our even realizing it, draw us back from the brink and set us on solid ground for us to continue his work.  It is never easy, but for people who have gifts and talents, God can’t afford to allow those souls to assume that their talent is the source of their success. In our debilitating weakness and desperation, it is impossible to take pride in anything in ourselves.  We are just glad that God uses us to accomplish something for him that will be of benefit to others who are also struggling to survive.

I have heard so much about patriotism lately, and people accusing others of not being patriotic, I decided to ask myself, “What is a patriot?”  And this has nothing to do with politics.  To me patriotism is a virtue, and like all virtues, there are authentic examples of virtue, and there are counterfeit or fraudulent examples of virtue.

This is true also of the virtue of patriotism, and like all virtues, it is not just a single event.  To those who are willing to sacrifice their lives for their country we all owe a great debt.  For none of them was it easy, for some it was heroism, and for many who suffer for a lifetime what they endured in battle, we owe a continued debt, not just of gratitude but of the support they need.

But that is not the only way to be a patriot.  Individuals who work for the government, and dedicate their lives to help preserve our country’s ideals, they are lifetime patriots.  Should we consider as patriots politicians who become fat on government service? Maybe those who sacrifice over and above what is required and who are not driven my petty political considerations in making decisions critical for our country deserve to be considered patriots.  Legislators in those states who serve their state without compensation, are patriots.  Patriotism as a virtue requires a lifetime of love of one’s country, and upholding all that makes our country sacred. My father’s own example of patriotism helped to fashion my understanding of true patriotism.  He came from Italy at six years old. During World War II, he was drafted.  He and my mother had nine children at the time, (and three more later).  The pastor was all upset.  Being editor of the diocesan newspaper, he wrote an editorial saying how irrational it was for the draft board to draft a father of nine children.  The local secular papers did the same thing.  But, my father did not complain.  When reporters came to the house to take a picture of us all and interview my father, my father merely said, “Our country has been good to us all, and when the country needs us we should be ready to respond.”

“What about your own army of a wife and nine children?”

“If God can use a person like me to care for them, he can do just as good a job without me.”

The only thing that prevented my father from going was a coincidence.  His doctor happened to be at the place when my father was examined, and had already been accepted for military service.  My father’s doctor asked him what he was doing there, and my father told him that he had just been approved for admittance into the army.

“Like hell you have.  Not with those ulcerated varicose veins.  You almost bled to death once.”  The doctor went over to the doctor who examined my father, and shamed him for having passed a man with ulcerated varicose veins.  Ashamed, the doctor immediately reversed his decision.

I never forgot that. My father was willing to die to defend what his country stood for.  That’s authentic patriotism.  And all during the war, when it was hard to get food, my father had a meat market, and still wanting to make a sacrifice for his country, while so many others stores made money on the black market, my father felt that was unpatriotic, and refused to do it, and still out of a sense of patriotism, helped the families of soldiers and sailors so they would have enough to eat during those hard times.  Much later, even lately, people have told me, and still tell me, how much my father helped them during the war when was hard to feed their families.

And many years later, when the local school board turned down requests for textbooks for the parochial school children, (my little brother was one of them), my father who always pondered over the Constititution, and loved reading Thomas Jefferson’s biographies, challenged them and the case went to the U. S. Supreme Court and he won.  Soon afterwards bus transportation was provided for parochial school children.  That’s patriotism.

Another man I know, Roy Barrows, served three years in the air force, and was a hero on Formosa later on, and was asked to stand on the platform with distinguished Chinese officials, but never talked about it.  But his greatest acts of patriotism occurred over a long period of time later on when he and his wife agreed to take into their home, young kids who had been convicted and sentenced for crimes, since there was no youth facility in the county. And for years he and his wife raised with their own children, little teenage criminals in their home trying to be a father and mother to them. And that man, a county sheriff, was not a radical liberal, just a caring human being. That is heroic patriotism and his kids are so proud that their father and mother were so loving.  Many of those kids they took in straightened out their lives because two people cared.

Lately, the issue has come up in a way that has torn the country apart, with all the talk about the war in Iraq, and accusations of being unpatriotic against those who opposed the war, and then the further problem of how far we should go to pry information from enemy combatants.  Lately we have the current debate concerning what to do about those who may or may not have violated our fundamental American principles on the rights of human beings by inflicting extreme physical and psychological torment on detainees, to extort information that may possibly protect Americans from further terrorist attacks. Many of these detainees were eventually released because of a lack of evidence of any wrongdoing.

These things trouble me deeply, because they remind me of things that happen in the Church.  Over my years as a priest I have seen the damage that some rigid church laws have done to people, and how unfeeling and inconsiderate priests and bishops have hurt people deeply, and driven so many away from the Church, which is Jesus’ great gift to us.  It is also a virtue to be loyal to the Church precisely because it is the living presence of Jesus in history, and we should each try to make our own little contribution to make the Church faithful to that presence, so that no one would ever walk away from the Church broken or an outcast.  My father had always taught us our lives should make a place better for our having been there.

So, when I wrote “Joshua,” and the other books I have written, it was my attempt to make Jesus real to heal people and to point out defects in the way we treat people.  The books have hit hard, and it was my way of hoping that we would treat people with more compassion and less legalism.  Within weeks I was bombarded with accusations I was disloyal to the Church.  The ones that hurt the most were from some priests and bishops, and some friends. I had even been told by a diocesan censor that he would never approve of my books because they were continually trying to undermine the Church’s authority, and damage the Church. I consider those officials who know what rules and laws hurt people and don’t do anything about it, are not only disloyal to the Church but to Jesus Himself.  Interestingly, the Vatican bookstore manager commented that my books have always been their best sellers after the Bible. 

So often people think that patriotism, whether for the country or for the Church, is to accept things as they are, no matter what evils people commit in their name.  One president of the American bishops once said to his chancery staff, I agree with everything Girzone says, but I am too old to fight.  Some people are much older than that bishop and they are still fighting.  Things can change in the Church only when people, especially bishops, are willing to pay the price and speak up and demand that we change for the good of the Church. We are in the critical situation where hundreds of thousands of Catholics in our country will not be able receive the Eucharist because in, perhaps, six or seven years, there will be no priests in some dioceses.  Is the Eucharist of so little importance to bishops and some radicals in the Vatican that they would rather keep celibacy than the Eucharist.  If they decreed what Saint Paul taught, “pick men of tried and proven virtue married only once,” as a requirement for bishops, to say nothing about priests, we’d be in a lot healthier shape today.  In every parish where I was stationed there were always at least ten or twelve married men of irreproachable character who would be excellent priests to serve in their own or nearby parishes.  That could be at least a start.

And when it is a matter of patriotism for our country, we should speak out when there are abuses. We all have to contribute our bit to preserve our country as the shining light to a world where so much evil reigns.  When evil things are done in the name of patriotism, by some in our country that starts bringing us down that path away from our ideals, no matter what the excuse, it should be investigated.  Opportunistic politicians willing to commit crimes, under the guise of patriotism, bring shame on all of us.

One chaplain, by the name of Fr. John Grathwohl, told a dear friend that he left the army terribly troubled when he witnessed intelligence officers dropping a young fourteen old boy out of a helicopter at 3000 feet to force other prisoners to give them information, which he said, they probably didn’t have anyway.  Not believing this priest, I called a friend who had been in the intelligence corps, and before I could even tell him anything about what the priest told me, he said,  “I bet he told you we took prisoners up in helicopters and dropped them out at 3000 feet. That was normal for some.”  I got sick to my stomach.   Later, when I told that to some important military people, they said, “I don’t believe that.”  I would have thought they would have taken it seriously enough to enquire, but maybe they did know already. How could they not?  I don’t consider that patriotism to do nothing about it.  There is a difference between a career and a patriotism.

The United Nations Convention Against Torture states, “any act by which severe pain or suffering, whether physical or mental, is intentionally inflicted on a male or female person for such purposes as obtaining from him, or a third person, information or a confession, punishing him for an act he or a third person has committed or is suspected of having committed, or intimidating or coercing him or a third person, or for any reason based on discrimination of any kind, when such pain or suffering is inflicted by or at the instigation of or with the consent or acquiescence of a public official or other person acting in an official capacity.  It does not include pain or suffering arising only from, inherent in, or incidental to, lawful sanctions.”

Article 16 stipulates that countries which are signatories to the Convention shall prevent any cruel, inhuman, or degrading treatment or punishment which may not be considered torture. 

The Convention specifically forbids rerouling, or sending detainees or prisoners to other countries knowing that they practice torture, with the intention of extracting information from the prisoners.

Article 2 also clearly states, 2. “No exceptional circumstances whatsoever, whether a state of war, or threat of war, internal political instability or any other public emergency, may be invoked as a justification of torture.    3. An order from a superior officer or public authority may not be invoked as a justification of torture.

I know there are some today who ridicule the United Nations, but the fact is we signed that agreement to observe the prohibition against torture.  And the stipulations are a matter of International Law to which we have bound ourselves.

What is shocking is that after the Second World War our own military tribunal condemned and executed Japanese soldiers for practicing water-boarding against American troops.  

I can see no alternative to finding out precisely what took place in our prisons.  Ignoring it will just make it easier in the future for the same things and worse to happen, because sadistic people will know that no one is going to do anything about it anyway.  It might offend some politicians. But, so what?  Perhaps they were the culprits.  Shame!

So, in my mind, I have come upon what for me is a patriot, whether for our country, or for the Church.  It is a person who practices the virtue of patriotism all his life, out of dedicated love, and does whatever in his or her power he or she can do to advance the shining ideals of the country or the Church.  Being part of the military is one way of showing patriotism, but it shouldn’t stop there.  People who dishonor their country’s ideals by shameless practices don’t deserve the title of patriot, even if they were in the military.  Mothers of families, especially of military people, are really sacrificing patriots especially those who are married to the some 600,000 troops the Rand Corporation (which was hired by the Pentagon) said were brain damaged, or have serious mental problems, which makes one wonder whether Americans were really protected from harm, by what these so-called patriots said they did to protect American lives.  Perhaps, they merely incited more young Muslim youths to join the terrorists in Iraq and Afghanistan and kill more American soldiers., which was easier than trying to get into the America.  Or don’t our self-styled patriots consider the troops Americans?  And out of a sense of decency these same patriots should have done something to find homes for the 1,000,000 homeless veterans wandering the streets.  Or don’t they believe there are any honest homeless people?

It is easy for us to write off some human beings as useless, worthless, evil, and decide the world would be better off without these misfits.  That thought used to cross my own mind at times, until I was sent to investigate conditions in a maximum security prison in upstate New York, not far from the Canadian border.  The conditions were quite bad, and it is not hard to excuse the warden and the guards.  But, I often had the feeling when going carefully through the place, that in some cases, the guards were not much different than the inmates, though I admire guards who perform their work conscientiously, and even the inmates sing their praises. But there are others who are brutal and sadistic, and enjoy provoking the inmates to do things that will give the guards an excuse to put them in solitary confinement.  Other guards were most helpful, and I could easily tell that they were probably good husbands and fathers as well at home.  They shared with me so many good things about the inmates, and afterwards brought me into a room with handmade articles, oil paintings, beautiful works of art done by the inmates, and they were all for sale.  One painting impressed me the most.  It was an oil painting of the crucifixion.  The painting was at least eight feel high and five feet wide.  I will never forget the depth of feeling and the brilliance of the colors and the powerful portrayal of the atmosphere surrounding the cross.  The figure of Jesus was the most real portrayal of the crucified Savior I had ever seen. Then I noticed that there was something different about the cross.  As I looked closer, the cross was made of stone, and looking even closer, the stones were broken, and then I read the engraving on the broken stones, the wording of the commandments.  The guard told me that the artist was trying to say that Jesus was really crucified by the breaking of the Ten Commandments.  Such depth of spirituality in a man with a life sentence! 

My trip home was three hours long, and I spent the time thinking about my experience, and what I had learned.  I recalled the many things the inmates told me about one another, about one fellow who always shared his food with other inmates, who were not well, and another who became an expert in criminal law and in criminal justice, so he could do research for inmates who had no lawyer to help them, and was successful in having convictions overturned, and the men exonerated.  One guard did everything he could to keep that inmate in solitary confinement to prevent him from helping the other inmates.  Another inmate who was a college graduate helped inmates who were illiterate write letters to their families and friends, and read letters from their families and friends and lawyers.   Another inmate started learning about the bible, and when he became quite well-versed in it, started a class to help other inmates learn about God. Other inmates were a big help to the chaplains, who came on a more of less regular basis.

One chaplain told the story of an inmate whom he was convinced was a mystic.  The man hardly ever left his cell, spending much of his time reading and praying.  When he shared with the priest things that he had learned in prayer, the thoughts contained such profound spirituality, and depth of understanding of God, the priest was convinced that the man, who was serving a life sentence for murder, had genuine mystical experiences of God.

Ever since my experiences at that prison and in other places, I learned that God is still working in the souls of those people.  Society may give up on them, but not Our Savior, and from that day, I realized how evil the death penalty is, because it snatches souls out of God’s hands, and denies God the possibility of continuing his redemptive work in those souls.  I think people who push for the death penalty will one day have a hard time explaining to God why they stripped God of his right over human life.

Many years later, when my brother Jim was in the hospital, he called and said there was a man in the bed next to him, who was a prison warden and knew me.  The man asked if I could come and visit him, which I did when I went to visit my brother.   The man was dying, and when he looked at me, I asked him if we could pray together, and he nodded.  We prayed briefly, and I gave him my blessing.  He looked up at me and all he said was, “You’re a good priest, Father.”

That meant a lot to me, because he had been the warden at the prison I visited and refused to let me go into the prison until I said I would sit there all night if I had to.  His request for me to visit him made me realize he had done a lot of soul searching after my visit there, especially since the state made the place a showcase for reform after I filed my report.

It is not easy to follow Jesus. Suppose we had never heard of Jesus. And a stranger came drifting into town and set up shop in the local park and began speaking to a group of people.  What he had to say was different, and people soon began to wonder where he’s coming from.  The country is in the midst of a severe depression and, looking around the crowd, this stranger sees the worry and concern on the people’s faces, and he addresses what he sees.  “Why do you all look so sad?  Be happy!  I know many of you have lost your jobs, but don’t worry about it.  What’s a job?  Those of you who are poor don’t know how fortunate you are to be poor. Heaven is full of poor people. Someday you’ll go to heaven and you won’t have to worry about all these things like clothes and food and money.  Just trust God, he’ll take care of you.”

You can already see people walking away shaking their heads, “Where the hell is this guy from?  ‘You’re lucky to be poor.’  I’d like to see him take care of a starving family, without a job.”

And the speaker continues, “And when you try to do what is right and others persecute you and ridicule you, be happy that you can suffer for being good.  And when someone hits you, be brave, stand there and let him hit you again.”

More people walk away.  But, the speaker is not deterred.  He continues unruffled.  “And if someone does evil to you and hurts you badly, and even destroys your reputation causing you serious harm, and then tells you he is sorry, forgive him.”  And someone in the crowd asks a question, “How often do I have to forgive him?”  And the stranger responds calmly, “As often as he hurts you”

This is too much.  Still others walk away.  But, oddly, there are some simple souls, not stupid, not ignorant, not radical in anyway, but just persons with a gentle spirit, who like the way the man thinks.  “What a beautiful way to live,” they say.  I think I would like to live like that.  The world would certainly be a better place to live if more people were like that.”

But, then an argument breaks out, “What do you mean, if more people were like that?”  If more people were like that the world would be overrun by maniacs who’d be delighted with a world full of cowards.  That’s all we’d need.  There are enough nuts and do-gooders as it is without this guy trying to make pacifists out of us all.”

More people walk away. But, the stranger still speaks on, slowly, with measured cadence, gently, with conviction, “And what is money?  Money is nothing; it is only dirt, so sell what you have and give the proceeds to the poor who have nothing.  Your Father in heaven will love you and reward you for that.  Money is the root of all evil.  It is harder for a rich man to go to heaven than for an elephant to ride in a hot air balloon.  So, if you are rich, don’t take chances with your eternal salvation, give excess wealth to the poor and come follow the way I live.  You’ll be happy that way.”

“And if you want to make God happy, be like a little child; innocent, pure, trusting, and loving.  And happy are the peacemakers; they are really God’s children.”

“And about your religious leaders, I know you despise many of them because they are phonies, and have little real concern for you, but obey them, go to church and worship God in spite of them, because their authority comes from God.”

And then he finishes by saying, “And the basis for all this new way of living is that God in heaven loves you, and wants you to live not for this world but for the kingdom of heaven where you will one day live if you choose to follow my way of life.  God will reward you, not for all you accumulate in this world, but for how many hurting and struggling people you have helped while you passed through this world.  And I will give you food for this difficult journey.  That food is my own flesh and blood which will nourish your souls, and prepare you for eternal life.”

That is not something I made up.  That is the way Jesus spoke. That is what Jesus taught.  How many Christians today, do you think, really believe what he taught.

The strange paradox of this parable is that Jesus lived his whole life that way, and the world, for over two thousand years recognises his life as the most beautiful life ever lived.

There is a very enlightening article in this week’s Newsweek.  It is about two clergymen involved in the aftermath of the Columbine tragedy.  One of the ministers has been a dear friend for over forty years.  Our parishes did so many things together, which I described in my book, “My Struggle with Faith.” Our parishes were very close to merging, until a family tragedy ended his stay in the area. This Lutheran Pastor is a very Jesus-like person, and very caring, unselfish and fearless.  If something’s got to be done, he’ll do it, even if the price he has to pay is staggering. 

The boy responsible for what happened at Columbine High School was a parishioner of Pastor Don Marxhausen.  After the horrible massacre, Pastor Marxhausen did what any Jesus-like pastor should do; he held a service for the boy, and comforted his parents and family for a long time after the incident. The other pastor, Pastor George Kirsten, was in Israel at the time, and when hearing of the tragedy, immediately returned home to perform the services at his own parish to care for the survivors, the parents and the families.

Pastor Marxhausen is now retired, after being threatened, demeaned, badgered, psychologically battered, and literally driven from his parish by righteous Christians filled with anger, hatred and thirst for revenge which he had denied them. How?  Because he dared to have Mass for the boy and comforted the boy’s parents and family.

It made me realize suddenly that there are caring, loving Christians, and hateful, vengeful Christians, hell-bent on revenge, which made me think, “Are we any different than the people in other religions, who have their saints, and their suicide bombers filled with hate and vengeance, and their sly, sneaky ones who wreak their dirty work against innocent Palestinians in the middle of the night so the world media never learns about it.

There are many Christians today who are not really Christian, because they do not believe the way Jesus taught and lived.  When the Pharisees dragged the woman caught in adultery through the crowd and threw her at Jesus’ feet, demanding her execution, what did Jesus do?  He told them, “Let him who is without sin among you cast the first stone.”  When they still threatened, he knelt down and began to write in the sand.   One of the early Fathers of the Church said that what Jesus wrote in the sand were the secret sins of each of the Pharisees, who then one by one slinked away.

We know what Jewish people thought of the crooked tax collectors who unjustly gouged people with their demands for exorbitant taxes.  They hated them.  How did the people feel when they saw Jesus at a party thrown by a tax collector and Jesus was the guest of honor with a house full of tax collectors?  We know how the Pharisees felt about Jesus.  “He associates with sinners and tax collectors and prostitutes.” 

The Pharisees are still very much alive today, always parading as the righteous, holding in contempt everyone else.  A person I know, a journalist, who happens to be gay, wrote that at a cocktail gathering of party loyalists, of which he was one, he overheard a conversation of important people saying, “‘What we have to do next is put into law biblical morality, execution of gays, adulterers and prostitutes.”  That’s not Jesus’ law.  That’s the ancient law Jesus abrogated. That’s the Islamic sharia law. Those who still cherish that kind of law are not authentic Christians.  They make up their own religion, a religion that appeals to their need for revenge against sinners.  You see it in so many politicians and judges, and district attorneys who over indict, to make sure they can put a person in prison, in case he happens to be innocent.  In demanding the death penalty, they are making sure that they end God’s chance to continue his redemptive work in those condemned souls.

We all have to look into our hearts and ask ourselves, do I really believe Jesus or do I make up a religion that satisfies my own need for strict justice and vengeance?

One of my dearest friends was concerned because he was told he had an attention deficit disorder, and had to take medicine for it.  I also noticed that he had the rare ability to handle eight or ten complicated jobs at a time, and was very efficient in keeping up with each of them.  This fascinated me because many people can concentrate on only one job at a time, and if they try to handle two or three, it is very difficult for them to focus.  So, I wonder if a so-called attention deficit disorder isn’t a gift or a blessing, rather than a sickness.  God’s gifts come in so many forms, and under so many different disguises.  Aspects of our personalities that we may have considered weaknesses or personality defects, may be special, hidden gifts which can drive us to our greatest accomplishments in our life.  

The gospels and the Acts of the Apostles tell of Jesus wandering around among the people until his ascension forty days after Easter.  What did he do all that time?  You can be sure it was not satisfying people’s curiosity, nor was he just having fun with that new body of his that could move with the speed of thought, and could pass through solid walls.  He had work to do, and when you see how efficient the early Christian community was as soon as he did leave for heaven, you can pretty much tell how he spent that time, and that was giving last minute detailed instructions as to how he wanted the community of believers to live from day to day, and how that community should be structured.

How did that first community function?  The apostles were like Jesus to them.  They were the shepherds; the disciples were the sheep.  From the earliest times they functioned not like a church but like a family.  A few were wealthy, like Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea, and Lazarus’ family with Mary and Martha, but most were poor or of modest means.  The members did not give donations to church.  They gave generously into a common fund, which was not for the building up of church but for the caring of poor members, so they could live decently and with dignity.  Some heroic persons gave a large share of their possessions to the apostles’ for use among the poor.  Building of monuments in someone’s memory never crossed their minds.  They were concerned about one another, and about each other’s needs.  This concern was so great the apostles had to add another ministry to their ranks, and this was the diaconate.  In consecrating deacons, they shared in a limited way the power and authority that Jesus had conferred upon them.  The deacons’ charge was to care for those in need, the sick and the poor, the lepers, the outcast of society.  This was the greatest concern throughout the whole community, both local and in other areas of Palestine, and eventually in every other country where Jesus’ message flourished.

Besides caring for the material and health needs of the disciples, the whole community gathered together frequently for prayer with Jesus’ mother always present as the heart and support of the others who were still living in fear and trepidation.  On Sunday evenings they would all meet for the breaking of bread, the sharing of the body and blood of the Lord.  It is interesting that they did not meet for scripture readings, but for prayer and the breaking of bread, which from the earliest days was the heart of their weekly worship.  It was only later on that they added what they had been used to in Judaism, the reading of scripture passages with commentary.  But, to this day, the center of the Church’s worship is the Eucharist, though there are many churches that have dropped the Eucharistic part of Christian worship and kept that part which was taken over from Judaism.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful today, if we were to go back and readopt those early practices of caring for one another as the heart of parish concerns, and get to know everyone in the parish so we could be fully aware of everyone in need, and each contribute to alleviate the humiliation of those who are destitute, and in danger of being evicted from their homes out into the street.  I do know some generous souls who have assumed the mortgages of family members who have temporarily been out of work.  The only ones I know of today who have a reputation for generosity to the poor in blighted neighborhoods are prostitutes who live in the area.  They often are most generous sharing what they have with those in need, especially at the end of each month, when funds run out.  How many children they have bought clothes for so they would not be ashamed when they go to school!   It would make Jesus so proud if pagans cynics today could say of today’s Christians, as the Romans said of Christians centuries ago, “See how those Christians love one another!”